


It Was Love

by DovaBunny



Series: Fenders Ficlets [15]
Category: Dragon Age II
Genre: Developing Relationships, F/F, F/M, Fenders, Infidelity, Kinda, M/M, Unhappy Ending, fenris catches the feels too late
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-04
Updated: 2019-02-04
Packaged: 2019-10-21 23:19:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17651591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DovaBunny/pseuds/DovaBunny
Summary: Fenris didnt believe in love. It was a word used to grovel, to lie, to manipulate, or to plead. It was used selfishly and meant nothing.But when his freedom was finally won,  he learns what love truly is. Or was. It had been love.A ficlet from a request by the stupidly talented and lovely TearsofWinter on Tumblr.





	It Was Love

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TearsOfWinter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TearsOfWinter/gifts).



Fenris didn’t believe in ‘love’.

Loved wasn’t real. Yes, he had said the words to his master many times - but that was out of self interest, to win favour. He wanted to make sure he would eat that day, that he could sleep in a bed and not in the cold stone cells with the other slaves.

So everytime the mage told him he 'loved’ him, Fenris sneered, scoffed, scowled, and became more and more suspicious of the mage’s intentions. What selfish purpose did Anders’ false claims hold? Was it the sex and company the mage couldn’t afford at the Rose? Was it his lyrium and the sick curiosity and fascination mages had with his body? Something more?

Whatever it was, Fenris didn’t believe it. He forbade Anders from speaking of their dalliance to others. It was just physical, just a self-serving tension relief. Yes, it had been going on for the better part of a year, and yes Fenris had come to seek the mage and his attentions out if he hadn’t graced his doorstep in a few days, but that didn’t matter.

It wasn’t 'love’. There was no love.

~

Fenris stared down at the body of his former master, dead at his feet, killed by his hand. And he felt…nothing.

Where was the sense of freedom? Of victory, relief, and happiness?

He turned to see Anders, eyes full of sympathy and compassion, reach for him. Bah! He didn’t want the mage’s pity. Fenris scowled and the mage quickly schooled his features and retracted his hand, remembering that they were in public.

When the mage took a step towards him, he was stopped by the pirate. “Why don’t you scurry off, sparklefingers? Marian and I have this.” Anders looked up to him pleading, but Fenris just looked away.

~

Isabela and Hawke had taken him to the estate. The finest wine was drunk to his name, praises were showed to his victory. They took him to bed, to 'fully celebrate his freedom’. And that’s what he wanted, right? To feel his freedom, to feel like he wasn’t alone. Hawke and Isabela knew freedom, they could show him, teach him.

Then why did he hesitate? Why did the face of the mage appear in his mind, his gut turning. No! He sneered at the thought. He was a FREE man! He had no obligation to any man, especially not a mage.

He swallowed down his self-loathing and followed them.

~

Fenris felt hollow.

There was no sense of freedom, of victory and release. There had been pleasure and distraction, but now, stepping into the earliest light of the morning, it all felt hollow and empty.

Why? Why had it not worked? Why was it that the only thought he had, the only person he wanted to see was…

“Anders?”

Fenris looked up to see his mage. But it was wrong, that beautiful face was etched with shock, hurt, and anguish. Fenris wanted to sooth it and took a step forward, but Anders took one back, before running from him.

Fenris’ chest constricted, a tight and painful feeling. Guilt, shame, regret…

He turned to his mansion, his hideout in which he no longer had to hide. With a heavy heart and heavy feet he trudged his way in and up the stairs, only to freeze.

A low fire was still crackling, before it a blanket with pillows and an untouched basket of food and wine. The bed had new linen and the air was rich with the smell of elfroot and cinnamon. Scented candles and bathoils, on the table, next to it a wrapped parcel of expensive sword oil - his favorite- with a note…

_“Congratulations! I’m so proud of you my love. You deserve every moment of your freedom, and I look forward to sharing every moment with you. All my heart - A.”_

Fenris’ heart leaped in his chest, even as he felt it constrict painfully. Something fluttered in his belly even as he felt it choke him.

This was love.

Fenris looked around the room. Finally, he was free - free to think, to feel, to choose.

The truth struck him then.

Care, compassion, patience, smiles, gentle touches, shining eyes, wholehearted passions, love…

Anders loved him, selflessly and without restraint.

This was love. 

**Was**.


End file.
